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I am a white female and have been dating my boyfriend for 7 months. He's was born in China and moved here with his family at the age of three. His parents and family are really traditional. I recently found out I was pregnant, with twins. He's afraid to tell his family because of how they will react. (We're still unsure if we are going to keep the babies because of medical reasons) How badly do you think his parent would react, and how big of a deal is premarital sex and unwed pregnancy in Chinese culture?

It is really sad if you take abortion for just "his parent's mind",that really shouldn't.
My two cousin brothers' wives were both unwed pregnancy,and they live fine now.I am Chinese my parents sure accept what girls I choose.

But I guess,his parents just think white girls are both open and "random" like the Hollywood movies,they have wrong impression on you.

He probably doesn't want to alert his parents til he knows you're keeping the babies. Sex has been a taboo subject in China since feudal times, older generations consider sex shameful or dirty and refuse to talk about it.

According to Chinese law, there must be approval from a parent or guardian before an abortion can be performed on a girl under 19, because of that, pregnant girls who fear their parents go to back street abortionists.

Unwanted pregnancy can have devastating effects, the family can be looked at in shame since risk factores include family instability, adolescent pregnancy of a sister, or mother who was pregnant as an adolescent, pressure from firends, low socioeconomic level, etc...your boyfriend's family could be treated shamefully by the grandparents.

China is now in the early stages of a major HIV/AIDS epidemic since the sexual revolution is finding over 240 million people between 15 and 24 years old, and every year 20 million more enter adolescence. But there are no sex education courses in schools, but very recently testbooks on sex education have been distributed to some schools.

Abortion is quite common in China with the one child policy. There were 1.493 million cases of abortion in 2002 and only 0.4 (one fourth) of them were teens. In 2008 1/3 of abortions were for teens.

Mifepristone, contraceptive injections, rapid acting oral contraceptives, and i.v. drips are used in China for ending pregnancy. National family planning laws (along with 40,000 full time and part time government workers who enforce them) are not flexible.

In urban areas more than one child per family is unacceptable so women must have their tubes tied. Unwed working women lose their jobs if found to be pregnant so they terminate. In rural areas two children are allowed only if they are between 4-5 years apart. Infants with birth defects are aborted or destroyed upon birth. 98% of contraceptive medicine or devices and abortion is free, along with tubal ligation, vasectomy.

Every three months the government family workers require ultrasounds on women. Female infanticide has been the norm for over 100 years.

After having one child, women are fitted with an IUD which are in place for 8-10 years or until menopause, after their second child, tubal ligation that takes place in only 8-10 minutes and are done by the family workers, not doctors. Only 9% of men have a vasectomy and only 3.2 % use a condom.

As some of the others have said, your own attitude toward the twins and toward your boyfriend is far more important than anyone else's...

That said, the family structure in Chinese culture is far different from America. Out of wedlock babies are extremely rare in Chinese culture.

Also, normally the Chinese grandparents are very involved in child-raising. When you get married to a Chinese man, you marry his whole family! His parents may be expecting to be more involved with your twins than you might be comfortable with.

It's probably these cultural factors that make his fear exaggerated and hard to understand.

I've included some links below with some very insightful perspectives on out-of-wedlock babies in Chinese culture and understanding more about Chinese culture to improve your interracial relationship.

Wish you and your boyfriend good luck!

Oh my ! dont be worry at all! my parents came from vietnam --7 kids total. They are traditional, but that didnt matter to them because knowing that they were in a country like canada they were more understanding of that multi-culture. One of my older brother actually knocked up his girlfriend who he hadnt been dating for long she was also white. My mom didnt really care at all. I was 14 at the time---she tried giving me the sex talk when she found out about my brother lol. But my mom doesnt care at all. My mother is so old school about everything-- this is the one thing that she accepted in a very short time. My youngest brother has been dating his girlfriend who is white and my mother doesn't seem to mind her at all. I honestly think they would not care because its so common for things like that to happen theses days, if anything they might freak out a tad then get over it.
If they were truly traditional chinese parents they would not tell you to abort it.

You are both in your 20s and responsible adults already.. You can live on your own..

Ask yourself this question: "Am I willing to abort my babies just to make my boyfriend's parents happy?" That's a total no-no for me..

I am a Filipino and our culture is very conservative here, but premarital sex is an over-rated issue in my own opinion.. As long as you love each other and will support fully your children, then you will have a very stable family eventually..