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about the med.treatment,I don´t want to humilate him,so I don´t start the comversation either,but it affects our relationship very much.I am still young and need sexual life.To go for a lover?

Look, I don't care how many will claim otherwise, this sort of thing will affect all men at one time or another. It's a very real problem, so ignore any wise-acre responses you get to your question.

I can't tell you how to broach the issue with your husband, but broach it you must. It is a very embarrassing problem for men, one in which we'd prefer to ignore it, hoping it will just go away, as opposed to doing something about it. Be loving and caring but also honest about your needs. But don't work in any ultimatums about about leaving!

Being made aware of your needs is important for him, but it will also put more pressure on him, which isn't good. You need to talk about or intimate about ways your emotional and physical needs can be met without actual intercourse. He may have been avoiding intimacy up to this point because starting down that path leads to the prospect of erectile failure and the disappointment that goes along with it. You need to also be sure you don't express your opinions in such a way as if you imply that you feel it is your fault, or that he is rejecting you in some way. That is not likely the case.

Hopefully this discussion may lead to a physical examination of what the underlying problems might be, such as stress, high blood pressure, etc., for which there are remedies that may or may not work but are worth trying. But you should also be prepared for no answer in this situation too. A lot of women think men are perpetually 13-years-old and that an erection will result at any flash of a female breast. In fact, as we get older the sexual response becomes a lot more complicated, involving a lot of physiological, emotional and mental elements, and there are a lot of known as well as unknown reasons why things don't always "click."

If you can't seem to make any headway with him in working on this problem, please understand that it is an EXTREMELY sensitive thing for a guy to open up about. Consider then consulting a professional on your own for some professional advice, which will be better than anything a bunch of us Yahoo! Answer nuts could ever provide.

Good luck!

Impotence alone isn't a reason to leave him. But lack of communication is. I have impotence and it is very humiliating. But I try to be open about it, when necessary. Somebody has to start the conversation. Not too long after I started having issues, I suspected wife of having another lover (later discovered suspicions were founded). That got me talking about my performance issues and visited the dr. Meds really help some guys... not so much for others. If hubby doesn't want to seek help, he might agree for you to openly have other lovers. This is better than just cheating. My wife and I were fairly happy this way for a few years. Just something to consider. But you just have to TALK!

Communicate, communicate, communicate.

Then, when you're done - communicate some more.

Impotence can be caused by stress, or by a serious medical condition. You need to make him talk to you so you can determine if there is some underlying reason for his impotence.

Talk to him, then set up an appointment for him with a doctor to see if he has a medical condition of some sort.

Communicate, communicate, communicate.

Then, when you're done - communicate some more.

Impotence can be caused by stress, or by a serious medical condition. You need to make him talk to you so you can determine if there is some underlying reason for his impotence.

Talk to him, then set up an appointment for him with a doctor to see if he has a medical condition of some sort.

Firstly tell him you love him as you probably always do. He's probably embarrassed. My husband was and depressed. I thought of leaving because I am still young and wanted a love life - but I couldn't imagine ever being with another man.

I took it slowly and didn't force the issue of sex - I basically stopped talking about it and used to say jokingly 'Give us a cuddle'. We got the closeness back which eventually led to my husband talking about our lost love life. He would never see a doctor which angered me.

Through being close we got our love life back but it's still not as often as I would like it. It's hard to have patience but try please.

I wish you the best of luck - I know this can't be easy for you.

You don't have to humiliate him, just talk about it. As you start the conversation (never in the bedroom) let him know what you want to talk about so there are no surprises and jump right in. He is thinking about it too, I guarantee it. in the mean time only get a lover if he is ok with it, don't go behind his back. there are plenty of toys out there that you can use (or he can use) to ensure your satisfied.

Its going to be hard what ever you decide to do.. Taking a lover will solve your sexual needs but wont solve the problem of his. In the end this will have to be talked about whether it hurts him or not!. sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind!.. in my opinion talking to him will at least bring the subject out into the open and will give options of what to do to solve it. I'm sure he is worried about his condition and would welcome any assistance in curing it.

If you're thinking of leaving him because of it - which I can understand to some extent - you'll have to give the poor guy a chance first...
If you can't talk about it, write it. But really, if you're married, you should be able to communicate about this stuff. If you're scared to humiliate him, turn the thing around to a "Is it something I've done / don't do ?" thing. Cry a little, tell him you want to make it better but that he'll have to say what's wrong. Maybe he'll end up consoling you and saying "no hon, it's not you, it's me". Either way, the conversation will have started and you can move on from there.
Good luck... ;-)

If you are not going to talk to each other about it, how can you expect to put it right, if you tell him how you feel about the the need for a sexual life and that you are still young, then he may go and get some treatment if he know that you are willing to help him and stand by him, if he won't go and get the treatment then tell him that you are going to leave him, I bet that will be the last thing that he will want you to do.

If you are not going to talk to each other about it, how can you expect to put it right, if you tell him how you feel about the the need for a sexual life and that you are still young, then he may go and get some treatment if he know that you are willing to help him and stand by him, if he won't go and get the treatment then tell him that you are going to leave him, I bet that will be the last thing that he will want you to do.

Look up Erectile Dysfunction on www.webmd.com.

You are making the assumption that he doesn't want to resolve this. He is afraid to admit it because he thinks he might lose you, thats why you need to make the first move here and tell him that you are willing to work with him on this and this is something you and him together can overcome. Get him to a Urologist right away to rule out medical issues other than impotence, meanwhile you and him can use toys.
A strap on dildo would help him think he is doing it and help you think he is doing it as well.

There are ED pills to resolve all of this. If he dosen't have insurance, then you can email me for details of where you can get cheap generic pills to help him.

First thing, you gotta talk to him about this over a romantic dinner, make out with him while talking to him about it. Relax the guy, don't confront him. Remember its not just his problem, its "our" problem. If he senses your selfless cooperation in this matter, it will bolster his confidence and he will do stuff.