You for sure, are not satisfying your wife.... you have a condition called "premature ejaculation." and it takes lots of training to control it.
You might try toys to please her. And most sex therapists can help you with it, too. Bottom line? Your penis is for your pleasure, your mouth and toys are for hers.
Evolutionarily, this is common.... a man in a breeding position is vulnerable to attack. Those who would ejaculate quickly, and be gone, usually lived longer to produce many children. You have inherited this, now, problem, since this isn't 10,000BC.
Go on line with Amazon, and ping around in such areas to find out how to control premature ejaculation... try something like "For Each Other" by Lonnie Barbach. That ought to get you into a general area of books dealing with sex.
Hope this helps?
Refraining from having sex will just make you c*m even more quickly.
Practice holding back while masturbating, or masturbate shortly before having sex.
BTW, the key to female orgasm is the clitoris for the majority of women. If you bring her to orgasm with tongue or fingers beforehand, she wont complain.